"I'll just love 'em..."

I'm sitting here surrounded by piles of folded laundry that need putting away, and a basket that still awaits folding.  The vacuum is still sitting out for that spare minute that I hope to get to finish the second half of my house, dishes from lunch still sit around and I have sandpaper and paint sitting out from some picture frames and a piano that I'm refinishing.  Why all the half finished jobs...my baby LOVES to be held!  If I set him down when he's sleeping, he'll sleep maybe five minutes and then wake up crying.  My wrists are killing me from all the multi-tasking I've done with him in my arms.  You might wonder why I'm blogging write now, instead of tackling some of my to-do's...the baby isn't in a deep enough sleep for me to put him down yet...I just know.

At first, I worried that all this holding him was going to spoil him, but according to the google searches I've done, you can't spoil a newborn by holding them too much.  After four months, it's a different story the experts say.

But I'm also reminded of something else, something I really want to write about...my mom.  When I was 18, I left home for Mesa.  I lived with my mom's parents for a few months.  At 18 I was perfectly aware of what I thought were my parents imperfections.  My grandfather saw something different.  One conversation I had with him still stays with me.

My grandfather said that when my mom would come over to visit them my sister and me would get into everything.  "Jeanne, you need to get after your kids", my grandparents would tell my mom.  But she'd always reply back with the same response, "I'll just love 'em".  My grandfather admitted to being very concerned about my mother's philosophy on parenting.  "We worried about how you kids would turn out," he said.  "But look at you all.  You're turning out just fine.  Your mom was the one that taught us.  She knew all along.  I'll just love 'em..."  My grandfather's voice trailed off as he starred off in the distance thinking about the things he'd just told me.

"I'll just love 'em".  Simple philosophy on parenting, but effective.  Come what may I knew that two people would always love me, my mom and God (sorry dad, i knew you loved me too, but for some reason I'd always think of mom...I'd probably cite you if this were a story on justice :))  Over the years growing up, I always knew that whatever stupid thing I did, I could tell my mom because she wouldn't overreact and she'd still love me.  It kept me out of too much trouble.  That same love also comforted me when I dealt with the embarrassment of severe acne, and the rejection and dissappointment that came with several years of being single.  And on my mission I would write home about how difficult all the rejection was.  My mom wrote back what I intially thought was, 'I wish I could be there with you', but then as I did a double take on the sentence, I realized she'd instead written, "I wish I could take your place."  What better tutorial to understanding God's love, than to have someone love you like that.

So for right now, I'll hold my boy.  There will be plenty ahead of him in life where his mom can't be there to hold him.   

(me, dad, Shannon, mom)

A month of cuteness!!!

It's hard to believe that almost a month has gone by since I gave birth to our little Liam (this Tuesday he'll be one month old). He's getting so big (the newborn clothes and diapers don't seem awkwardly oversized and he's starting to occasionally smile)! We've taken sooo many pictures as you will see from below.

Our baby story...

So I'm glad I took that last maternity picture when I did, because I ended up going into labor that same afternoon. Here's the breakdown of how things unfolded...

Mon 2:45- Appointment with Dr. Bailey...I'm 2cm dilated, 80% effaced, & the head is way down there. He says he wouldn't doubt it if I went into labor that night.

After being checked I'm feeling continuous contractions, but I was making dinner, so didn't time them.

7:00 pm-ish- family home evening which consists of walking around walmart with our iphones in hand timing my contractions.

8:00 pm-ish- go home to see how the contractions will go with me relaxing on the couch...still consistent an hour & half later at about 4 minutes apart, call the hospital and let them know we're coming.

9:50 pm- drive the 50 minutes to the hospital while listening to Micheal Buble

10:40- arrive at the hospital. The nurse checks me thinking I'm a 4 or a 5 & calls the doctor. Dr. Bailey arrives and I'm only a 3.

Contractions increase in intensity. The nurses give me stadol in my iv to help with the pain so I can get some sleep. I feel sooo loopy and sedated, but it works like a charm & I get some sleep.

8:30 am- Dr. Bailey checks me- I'm dilated to a 4. He breaks my water. I'm told I can have an epidural when I'm dilated to a 6. Dr. Bailey tells the nurses to call him when my labor progresses more- better too early than too late.

Chad & me take to walking the halls of the hospital, squatting on contractions until the contractions get too intense for me to take standing.

9:45 am- Dilated to a 5. I beg for an epidural, they give me stadol in my iv instead. It makes me feel a little loopy again but does nothing to the pain.

10:15- I ask that the nurse check me again, sure that I'm a 6. The nurse is skeptical that I've advanced so quickly, but checks me anyways..."oh, you're a good 6", she says in surprise. One order of epidural coming up.

10:40- I feel the first urge to push. The anethisiologist finally arrives, but too late.

10:45 am- The nurses check me- I'm dilated to a 10. The doctor still hasn't arrived. The nurses tell me not to push but at this point all my stomach & pelvic muscles are almost forcing me to. The nurses scurry to prepare to deliver a baby without the doctor.

The doctor arrives a few minutes later with no time to change into scrubs.

11:20 am- Liam is born! 8 pounds 8 ounces, 22 inches.

Proud new daddy.


It makes me laugh because Chad is just beaming and I look so dead.  I'm still somewhat sedated from the stadol plus exhausted from labor.

When all is said and done, I'm grateful things unfolded as they did. Silly as it may sound, one of my life's ambitions has been to give birth without an epidural. However, as my due date drew close & I watched more episodes of TLC's "A Baby Story", I chickened out and reassured myself that I would still have a natural birth, just not with this first one. Maybe Heavenly Father knew I just needed to be sort of forced into a natural birth if I were to ever do it. I Can't say I will have any other births without an epidural, but regardless I'm grateful I can now say that I did it! I am also grateful for a husband that stayed by my side holding my hand, wiping my forehead, and even cried with me at the sight of my pain. And I'm grateful for this beautiful new baby boy.

39 weeks

I wanted to get one last picture of me as a pregnant lady. I'm 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant...can't tell that I'm anxious, can you? I have a doctors appointment this afternoon. We'll see what he says. I know that my chances of having this baby before my due date are slim, but can't a girl hope?